Scene ~ outside Luke's, after Carly slapped Hannah Carly: You are a stupid little bitch. You slapped me?
Hannah: Slapped you back. Who do you think you are?
Carly: Do you wanna see? Because I would be happy to show you, baby!
(Sonny and Jason separate them as they start to go after each other again)
Sonny: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hannah: C'mon! Let her at me! C'mon!
Carly: This is not my fault, alright? She's got it coming!
Hannah: You wanna take me on?
Carly: Oh, yeah!
Sonny: Easy, that cat scratches!
Hannah: She hit me!
Carly: I hit you?! Baby, when I hit you, you will know it, you tramp!
Hannah: Yeah?
Carly: Yeah. Because I am gonna be all over you. If you don't keep your stupid little hands off my man, you're gonna die!
Hannah: You are pathetic! Not to mention psychotic!
Sonny: Enough! Enough!
Carly: C'mon!
(Sonny & Hannah go back into Lukes)
Jason: What did you just call me?
* * * * *
Carly: You want me to apologize? Cuz I'm not going to. Does it matter what I said, Jason? You know who you are to me. And as far as little miss trenchmouth is concerned - Damn right you're off limits! Somebody has to look out for you, if you're just too nice to do it yourself and blow her off. I told you she was coming on to you. Don't tell me that you thought she tripped and accidentally ended up in your hands.
Jason: Okay. Hold it, hold it. You're supposedly in the middle of conning AJ into marrying you.
Carly: So what?! Don't change the subject, Jason!
Jason: Carly, how do you expect to pull that off if you start smacking every waitress that bumps into me?
Carly: What are you telling me? There's more?
Jason: If I want a different waitress falling on my lap every night of the week, who are you to tell me I can't?
Carly: Who am I? I'll tell you who I am, Jason. I am the woman who volunteered to marry your psychological wreck of a brother. For what?
Jason: Volunteered?
Carly: Wait. For what, honey? For you. For you, and me, and Michael. So we can be together. So we can be a family again, the way we were meant to be. What am I supposed to do Jase? You want me to keep my mouth shut while some cheap piece of tail with dollar signs in her eyes comes along and snaps you up? ... Well, if that's the way you feel, then it's a good thing we're having this conversation. Because, you know, I can adjust accordingly. If I have to. I've got AJ where I want him. Pretty much anything I ask him to do, he will. We don't have to come back to you, Michael and I. We'll be fine. I mean, we'll be provided for. And I can think of a lot worse ways than to live out my long and loveless life than to, you know, count my millions and getting in high society's face. I dunno, why whould I knock myself out for someone who doesn't even like me?
Jason: Do I- Do I really have to make a list of all the crap that I've taken from you since the day we met? Carly? Do you think I stood there and took it and kept my mouth shut because I don't like you? You know how much easier my life would be if I didn't?
Carly: Okay. Well, then would it kill you to give me a hint every once in awhile? You know? Thanks, Carly. Good job, Carly. (she pats herself on the head mockingly) Nice doggie, Carly.
Jason: Oh. You want thanks, Carly? No problem. Thanks, Carly. For double crossing me. Thanks, Carly. For leaving me alone with Michael when you couldn't cope, and then giving him away to the people you made me promise not to let near him!
Carly: Oh, good! (she hits her chest as if to say "that one hit right where it hurts")
Jason: And thank you, Carly. For telling the police and anybody who would listen that I was a violent kidnapper who kept you afraid for your life!
Carly: That's good.
Jason: And finally, thank you. Oh, thanks, Carly. For drop-kicking just about anything in my life that had nothing to do with you!
Carly: Oh, thank you. That's good, that's- That's wonderful. I just wanted to know how you really feel. And I guess I do now. You know what Jason? Screw you, man. You are welcome to all the cocktail waitresses you've got the time and energy for. Michael and I will be just fine without you.
(She starts to walk away, but after a few steps she turns around and shakes her head as she realizes he's not going to come after her.)
* * * * *
Carly: (quietly) You know, you could have at least pretended I could walk away and never look back. You coulda just... told me not to. You coulda come after me-
Jason: Why- Why do you do this?
Carly: Which? Come back or storm off?
Jason: All of it, Carly. Why- why do you complicate a thing until there's no recognizing it anymore?
Carly: I don't always, do I? Well, that's how the boy/girl thing works, Jason.
Jason: Do I like you? Sure. If I didn't my life would be a whole lot simpler. Why do I like you? Now that's a hard one for me to answer.
Carly: I'm great in bed.
Jason: We don't sleep together.
Carly: Well, whose fault is that?
Jason: Let's just say I like you. Because I like you. That's it. We're friends.
Carly: Well, what the hell does that mean?
Jason: That the times that I've needed you, you've been there.
Carly: Jason, come on. You don't need me. You've never really needed me.
Jason: Really?
Carly: No.
Jason: You hid me in your room once.
Carly: So?
Jason: And when they OD'd Sonny, I had no place to go. So I went to you. Besides, you're always worried about me getting shot, or dead.
Carly: That's true enough.
Jason: But it doesn't mean that I believe that your plan to conquer AJ and get Michael back free and clear is gonna work. (He shakes his head) Not a chance. Not in a million years. Do you know why? (She nods) Why?
Carly: Because you think it's stupid.
Jason: Yes, but that's not all.
Carly: Oh. (she chuckles)
Jason: Carly, it's not gonna work because if by some amazing coincidence, you called every shot right. And it looked like it might accidentally happen, the plan might accidentally work. At the last minute you would flip out over something that doesn't matter and turn it into a catastrophe again.
Carly: That does sound like me.
Jason: Then could you please, for Michael's sake, for yo- For my sake, please. Calm down.
Carly: Well. (she steps over to him and hugs his arm) If you can say you like me, I guess... anything's possible.